The Watergate Scandal happened fifty years ago this year when, on June 17 1972, burglars were arrested for stealing documents and wiretapping in the office of the Democratic National Committee, the governing body of the Democratic Party, which was part of the Watergate complex. President Nixon denied any wrongdoing, and it was only after Woodward and Bernstein uncovered the conspiracy involving Nixon, that he resigned. The rest is history. Gate.

Note that Watergate was the name of the actual complex of buildings, pictured above. No one added the word ‘gate’ to it. If they did, it would spell Watergategate, which looks like a typo.

Nowadays, adding the word ‘gate’ feels like lazy journalism for any kind of scandal. (Partygate just needs the word ‘crash’ added to it to make some kind of sense – as in party gatecrash).  

Now, Bill Gates is an over-rated rich boy whose operating system Windows is the clunkiest, ugliest thing I’ve ever had the misfortune to use. The same goes with Microsoft Office – just horrible.

Second richest man in the world? Genius? This is the man who had no idea mobile phones were going to take off, and thought remote control light switches would be the next big thing. Not to mention his stealing 189 elements from the Mac OS for his Windows 2.0 in 1988.

Anyway, I’ve been waiting around 20 years for him to be embroiled in a scandal, just so I can see the headline: Gatesgate. 

The self-proclaimed “philanthropist” and “climate activist” – who last year, without irony, published a book called How To Avoid Climate Disaster – owns four private jets which cause about 1,600 tons of CO2 per annum (which naturally he offsets, easing his conscience but not doing anything for the planet), compared to the average person who uses less than five tons. Rich people are the problem, especially when they’re so misguided they think they’re doing good. (Gates and his ilk all think they’re going to solve the world’s problems through technology, and that’s their hubris.)

Someone that rich must be involved in dodgy deals. Climate activist Gates is now the biggest owner of farmland in the US, and supplies potatoes to McDonald’s. Last year he was part of a $4.7 billion deal to acquire the world’s largest private jet service company, Signature Aviation. Sorry Bill, no pearly gates for you.

Previously on Barnflakes
Top ten morons of the year, 2021
Windows 7 wasn’t my idea