You know what? I’m all for algorithms predicting exactly what I want to buy or where I want to travel (it would make life easier), but as journalist Adam Curtis said in an interview I read recently, it has a long way to go: you buy a return ticket to Bulgaria as a one-off holiday, never to be repeated, and all you get afterwards is ads popping up for tickets to Bulgaria. Will they ever be able to predict that I want to watch Poldark then Godard? That I can visit Russia then Myanmar then Margate? That I can buy a lawnmower then printer inks then War and Peace?

So it comes as no surprise that Google Instant’s Autocomplete Suggestions haven’t really changed since I last posted a similar list some eight years ago. And it’s meant to be personalised and localised. Surely they must realise I don’t need to know how to floss dance. I’m a natural.

Social media is now all educational ‘how to’ services, I’m told. If you can sell this top ten of how tos – presumably the top top ten in the world – then you’ve got it made.

1. How to make slime
2. How to make pancakes
3. How to train your dragon 3
4. How to lose weight
5. How to train your dragon
6. How to get rid of ants
7. How to delete instagram account
8. How to tie a tie
9. How to make money
10. How to floss dance