There’s a common fallacy that opposite human genders are constantly checking each other out. This isn’t always true. Mostly, men are looking at men and women are looking at women. This isn’t a sexual thing (entirely) but a competitive thing. We like to check out the competition, see what they're wearing, their haircuts, their mannerisms. It happens in all walks of life – dogs do it, cats do it, and children do it. Children in the street, when they see a child of a similar age and the same sex, literally stop and stare at one another, they're locked in a stare battle. But generally, men are looking better nowadays than women (an observation I’ve mentioned previously) and I probably look at men more: they're just more stylish. In the 1970s, men looked terrible and women looked good (in the 80s at least everyone looked terrible). Now it's largely the opposite. Men, inspired by homosexuals, are looking great whereas women, inspired by, er, lesbians (and celebrities and hipsters and Primark and sports/leisurewear becoming acceptable mainstream attire), are looking dreadful and misshapen. As was mentioned to me recently, women nowadays look either overtly sexual or dowdy; looking feminine doesn’t come into it.

• A recent study by the University of Nebraska-Lincoln found that women do look at other women’s breasts and hips more than their faces, probably to ‘check out the competition’.

NB: This post has been labelled ‘Controversial (Perhaps)’ and is not necessarily the views of the author. But he does like a beautiful woman in a polka dot dress.