BBC2 has just finished showing their School of Saatchi series, following a bunch of would-be artists for the coveted prize of being Charles Saatchi’s bitch (the prettiest girl won). Before that we had Design for Life, with product designer Philippe Starck being rude to a bunch of useless Brit would-be product designers for the coveted prize of being Starck's bitch (the prettiest girl won).

What’s needed next is: The Peter Saville Show. Take a bunch of would-be graphic designers and get them to design a derivative album cover, but – most importantly: they must turn in work late and over-budget; get up at 11am every morning with two supermodels in bed with them, then smoke a cigarette; be photographed in their dressing gowns by Wolfgang Tillmans; and, finally, make their covers so iconic and influential that they are still reminiscing about them thirty years later – and in fact have made a career out of talking about them and doing very little else (follow-up show ‘thirty years later’ required). Only apply if you’re pretty and female. If you are male you will need talent and Bryan Ferry handsomeness (and then you may come second).