Here’s some great money-making/society enhancing/planet-saving ideas. They are copyright free. You are welcome to steal them (if you pay me lots of money) – I'm too lazy to do anything about them.

1. CSI (Crime Scene Investigation) Historical
This will be part-documentary, part-drama, as our anal team look back at unsolved real life cases and mysteries through history and apply their state-of-the-art forensic technology to try and solve them.
First episode: Michael Jackson.
Other episodes: Princess Diana, Marilyn Monroe, JFK, Elvis Presley, Roswell, crop circles, how Gordon Brown got to be Prime Minister, etc.

2. Big Brother Special Needs
The popularity of Big Brother Tourette’s Syndrome sufferer Pete Bennett proved that disabilities can be compulsive viewing. So why stop there? Let's have Big Brother Special Needs Syndrome Special with an assortment of people with disabilities and mental health issues including Down's syndrome, autism, bi-polar, schizophrenia and cerebral palsy.

3. 50p tube seat
To make a bit of extra money on the daily commute via bus, train or tube, wear a ‘You can sit here for 50p’ badge. NB: You have to have to be already sitting down to do this.

4. Perspex plant pots
So you can see the earth. Maybe some roots too.

5. The Sunday Times Poor List
Their Rich List is such a vulgar, inappropriate thing. They should do a Poor List instead.

6. Car crash art installation
With loads of wrecked cars, bodies and blood. In an art gallery.

7. Teaballs
Plastic balls of tea. Get optimum tea leverage by a small lever that allows different strengths of tea to be released into the cup. Re-usable.

8. Nap pods
Ever feel exhausted walking around a city and fancy a quick nap? Small nap rooms – like those Japanese capsule hotels – dotted around cities that can be booked for an hour or two. Have a nap, get out of the rain, or read a book – in warmth, peace and quiet.

9. Healthy receipts
Supermarket receipts which list the nutritional value of food bought as well as the cost. You are what you eat, after all.

10. Get a proper job
Eh?