Amazon 1 Star Review: Moonfleet

I'll be the first to admit it: this idea is blatantly copied from the Cynical-C blog, which had a section called You Can’t Please Everyone, a look at ‘One Star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature’, such as Catcher in the Rye, Revolver, Psycho and Animal Farm. A great idea and hilarious (though many of the bad reviews look as if they’re written for the sole intention of pissing off others), it’s a shame it hasn’t been updated since January last year.

This probably won’t be a regular feature but seeing as I was involved in much smirking over the original review and its comments, which (strangely) took almost a decade to materialise, I thought I’d share it:

Moonfleet (Puffin Classics)
John Meade Falkner

1.0 out of 5 stars TERRIBLE, 9 Oct 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Moonfleet (Puffin Classics) (Paperback)
...Its extrodinarily boring, i thought it would never end. I made the mistake of choosing to do a book report on the ... book and i hated it so much it's not even funny. If you like that stupid format where authors use words like thee, thy and thou than u love this brutaly written novel. If i were you i wouldnt buy this book...
By Brayden E

Comments
Graham Chapman says:
There is a case for saying ‘well everyone is entitled to their point of view’, however, I think, better to be honest here and to say that you are a half-wit. ‘That stupid format where authors use word like thee’. That was - unintentionally, of course, quite funny. I wonder what mark this dunderhead got for his (it’s a boy, isn’t it) book report.
17 Sep 2009

Litlover says:
He probably got an A* by the time he took his A levels - that is the calibre of student who passes these days!
17 Feb 2010

Thomas Hardy says:
You were evidently sub-literate when you wrote this review. Ten years on I hope the teaching career is going well.
21 Jul 2010

Mr. K Kilpatrick says:
This was a good book in 1898(I wonder if the stupid thee/thou was in vogue then?) and still is! Yes the style is strange; what do you expect from over 100 years ago?
ps: There’s more spelling and punctuation errors in your review than in the whole book.
14 Sep 2010

The original’s here.